Mathematics

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair
Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profit
Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production
Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion
Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime
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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.
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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

THIS IS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS TO LAUGH
AND
TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT